ok, i finished draven, i think, and changed the thinger at the end of that post.

anywho, if i manage to get off my ass tomorrow night, and nothing else grabs my attention, shit WILL go down. i swear. we are THIS far away. im talking shit raining down, 10 pounds of shit in 5 pound bags, possibly even things coming together and making sense. bam. bam bam bam.

Draven hefted his mining saw over his shoulder, and looked around the open pit. He glanced up, and saw one of the commanding officers walking through a corridor from the medical facilities. He paused only a moment, as he didn't need to let that sink in, and prepared himself to get back to work.

He laid the saw back down on the ground, and typed in the ignition code. The diamond blade started spinning horizontally. He easily guided it downwards into the hard stone, and began grinding the ore away.

Draven's race, the Thorgus, was one of the first claimed by the Hive. With their sheer size and strength, it was hoped that they would make an excellent fighting force. However, when it was learned that they were naturally pacifists, they ended up in general labour. Several of Draven's fellow labourers had the black exo-skeletal spikes reminiscent of the warrior class, even though they would never be used.

Draven had several modifications of his own. A hard, metal mask had been grafted to all of his face above the jaw, due to an accident with some superheated processed ore. The mask was complete with ocular implants and audio enhancers that aided his vision and hearing, both also severly damaged in the accident.

None of this occurred to him as he forced the blade of his saw deeper down into the solid rock. From the corner of his eye, he saw a collector coming to retrieve his slag for processing. The rock would be used in all aspects of the Hive's conquest, from ship building to providing shock troops with their exoskeletons.

Draven knew that his job was important to the hive continuing its campaign. He turned off his saw for a moment, while the collector was working in front of him, and rubbed the back of his head where the controller chip was implanted into his spine. When it was finished, it started pushing the cart away, and Draven started his saw again.

Something was strange, though. The loud whirring of the saw started to sound more and more distant, quieter and quieter. Draven looked up, and saw the collector moving away, but the farther he got, the hazier he looked, as though he was walking into a bright, dense fog.

This had happened before, his implants went a little haywire from time to time. It was nothing to worry about. He could still see the ground in front of him, and the saw in his hands, so he could continue about his work. His work was important, it kept the Hive running. The slag he produced helped to build massive interplanetary ships, and the hard spiked exoskeletons that the shock troops would need in order to invade new worlds.

It was also used to make brand new controller chips. Some older ones had shown signs of deterioration, and would need replacing soon.

Draven angled his saw into the ground, over and over again, creating several large piles of rock. He moved on to his left, and started another pile. The collector would be back several more times during the day.

By the time his vision and hearing came back, it was as though the rest of the digging team had never left.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
EDIT!: ok, so im not completely pleased with how this ends, but right now, im working more on trying to actually get the story out there, in as much detail as i can. i mean, thats what drafting and revision is for, right?

*crack snap groan*

my writing muscles hurt. because i do not use them.

i edited the very end of the piece with kyris, nothing major, just so that i could put the next piece in. im really dead set on having all the parts roll on, one after another. so far, ive only got the one example between the two parts of the story. thats ok. there will be more. i have draven in my head, and ive been working on how im gonna voice his story. if i have time here before i leave work, ill write a little bit, and then finish it tomorrow at work.

praise odin.

ok, so i edited the first part with fish, and the part with kyris, including capitols and proper punctuation and shit. in retrospect, i really dont like the end of the first bit, but hey. thatll come with time, itll piece itself together.

im finding that not only my writing style, but the order in which im writing is very much taken from all my favorite things, like comics and movies. i was thinking about that today, how the order im planning on putting this would be very much how a movie could be, showing how things are as they come, BLAH BLAH BLAH.

anywho, give them a read, see if they still make sense, and whatever. or dont. its not like im paying you.

hopefully, ill have something more to show within the week.

praise odin.

ok, so its been a long time, with many bouts of "yeah, im gonna write, blah blah blah, im full of shit" but here we go. things might not make COMPLETE sense, but hey. im piecing this together as i go. everything might not fit precisely yet, but in time, once i get as much of it down as i can, i can edit it better, and work on that. until then...

heres kyris. introducing jeyl. hes important, as i just though of a CRAZY-HUGE plot point, and hes involved with it. yeah. read this, let me know what you all think. my ego cant inflate itself.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kyris stood in front of the massive door to medical test subject storage 2 for almost 10 minutes, knowing full well that the technician in charge of her greatest failure was expecting her. She also knew that the news she would hear would not be good, and subsequently the report she would file with her superiors would likely meet with extreme punishment.

She looked up once more at the large, glowing red 2 over the door.

Calm down, she told herself. This is the way things were meant to be. Accept it. Just like youve done the last 10 years of your life.

She stepped up to a panel to the left side of the door. As she leaned over, the panel slid up, and a small green light scanned her eye.

The door to medical test subject storage 2 jumped, then slowly lurched open. Kyris stepped inside. A frail looking technician was hunched over the electrical components on the foremost capsule in the vast, vast room. When he heard her footsteps, he looked up from his work.

"Hail, general Kyris. Have you come to reap the glorious fruit of your labours?"

Kyris snarled. "Leave your cynical comments to yourself, Jeyl. you know why im here. Just tell me what I need to know so that I can take our findings to the council."

"'Our' findings, are they?" Jeyl snickered. "Remind me. Aren't I the one doing all the work on our little project?"

Kyris' frustration rose visibly. "I was attached to this experiment, the same as you. We both know the rewards that will come with out success, as well as the cost of failure. Tell me what developments we've made."

"Negative." Jeyl started to grin. "In every respect, negative."

"What do you mean all the tests were negative? Didn't you go through with everything according to specification?!" Kryis' pretense of calm was shattered. Jeyl, however, was the epitome of serenity, as he traced his fingers around lighted symbols on his console.

"Everything was prepared just as we were instructed. There were no signs of any increased mental activity, no increased muscle mass, no energy spikes of any sort."

"Impossible." Kyris paused. "I calculated the dosage of the serum myself. I even prepared the proper percentages at each injection point."

"It's impossible that he even survived the process." Jeyl replied. He waved his hand across the vast, empty room. "Out of 350 subjects, he is the only one left."

Kyris looked at the subject. Subject 349. Either he was the payoff of all their work, or he was just the variable in a great cosmic joke. Either way, the bubbles coming from beneath his oxygen mask made it appear as though he was laughing at her.

"Shut him down. I cant stand him looking at me right now."

Jeyl traced another pattern on his console. Kyris watched the pale figure floating in the tube as his eyes closed, and his head nodded forwards. She sighed.

"Is there nothing more we can do?" She turned back to Jeyl. "I refuse to believe were out of options."

Jeyl quickly recalled his information, then shook his head. "No. If we increased the dosage of the chemical any further, he would die. It's incredible that hes lasted as long as he did."

Kyris looked back to the subject. Her face told Jeyl that she had resigned herself to her fate.

After a moment, she finally spoke. "I had best get this information to the council. Keep me updated on anything else."

She walked abruptly out of the room, before Jeyl could respond with another of his foolish comments.

As she walked down the corridor, she glanced out one of the windows, down at one of the mining operations. She thought briefly of her husband.

She shook her head. Focus, best get it overwith, Kyris thought cynically to herself. This is the way things were meant to be.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

hopefully ill keep up with this again. writing this felt really good, and didnt take too long at all.

so lets see... i dont want to ruin the story for anyone, so im going to do a quick point form list in my head, and then summarize THAT...

from the beginning of the story (excluding a prologue i want to do, basically just to set up some mood) i have THESE in mind
-the first thing with fish (done alreay, just needs editing)
-the piece with kyris (which will come next)
-a piece with a NEW guy (named draven)
-a piece on ANOTHER guy, who is a soldier named piat, and (of course) hates the hive because of what it did to his life
-the piece on a HUGE fuck-up that sets several things in motion
-how fish and draven escape the complex/city they're in
-a few pieces about a battle that goes back and forth between the hive, and the army group that new guy #2 is with
-fish and new draven escaping the planet they're on

that would essentially be the first chapter, the first chunk. there would probably be a little more back and forth between all the main people, and what's going on, and a couple other events, but THATS the basic story line for this first part. how LONG it is will depend on how much information i can cram into all of this,

the next part of the story that i want to write is about the "lady" who was checking in on fish. her name is kyris. she is part of "the hive", but also brings up a bunch of questions, which i will get to in a moment.

but WAIT. what is the hive? well, i havent really thought of an actual name for the "evil force" in this book, so the working title is "the hive". it is this race, very similar to the borg from star trek, that assimilates everything it comes across, taking away most of their personality and behavior, and replacing it with what the hive needs (through temporary technological means. the memory loss with fish is the first case of permanent memory loss). for example, big burly humanoids would be used for mining or warriors. dog-like/four legged beasts would be made into speedy warroir scouts, etc, etc. its actually quite similar to the phyrexians in the magic the gathering series (which of course none of you would have ANY idea what im talking about) except without any magical properties. bacisally, its these beings who want order in everything, and in order to do so, they need control over everything. there is a lot of genetic manipulation, a lot of surgical modification, and a lot of species being forcefully taken over, usually by technological means. this all comes into play, especiall as two of the "good guys" are actually already taken over by the hive, but neither one knows it yet. (what, you think im going to give it all away right now? fuck that. youll figure it out soon enough anyways :P)

NOW. kyris is one of a few special cases. she doesnt have the usual behavior controlling implants, the reason for which is that she willingly succumbed to the hive. not only that, but she sold her soul (figuratively, of course) to save herself. (and thats gonna have to be one thing that *I* know, and that you will find out ;) )

therefore, the important thing to note about kyris is that she is still VERY much human. shes just a human that thought she could adapt to this new lifestyle, and had to endure a lot of pain because of that, both emotionally and physically. most of her human form remains, but with several minor changes. black bone-like spikes protrude from her elbows, forearmsand shoulders, as well as several on her forehead resembling small horns. these are her main weapons, which results in a very crude hand-to-hand fighting style. she does have a long sword, but she barely uses it, instead preferring to instill fear mostly by her presence alone. therefore, her sword and battle armor are basically just ceremonial, because even without the armor, her skeleton has been altered to make it incredibly tough

all this culminates in her character being very dissatisfied (which is an understatement) with herself and her position in things, yet being too crushed by the weight of her actions to try and make a change.




yeah... thats a lot right there, hopefully things will start to flesh out, and hopefully.... i can write kyris's first piece, and start in on draven.

where the hell is all this coming from?

so, talking about fish in that last journal entry made me a little anxious, mostly just because of the part where i mentionned the skull melting. so i went and found the piece i wrote, and edited it so that it would make more sense to what i want NOW. also, i made one slight change to the FIRST entry here, instead of happenning a few hours before, its is now a few minutes... or possibly an hour, i havent decided. i guess itll depend on how the next few bits go down... anyways...

heres a bit that i wrote for college, and it was really good, but ive edited it to fit more with what im working towards.

basically, i just changed his name :P. its the fish we all know and love, but where he's snapped and goes nucking futs. NICE.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~``

Clouds darkened the sky. Shouts came from all around him. Everywhere, people lay dead and dying, screaming, writhing in pain. Still, the thousands of monstrosities came forward like a giant wave. Six-legged spider-like beings with human torsos and arms scurried along, impaling dead creatures with their enormous, pointed, razor-sharp legs. Humanoid figures with hulking shoulders fired searing red bolts from lenses embedded in their palms. Other more wiry beasts, covered in black spikes, skulked on four legs. Where there was flesh on these beasts, it was sickly and pale. where there wasn't, black steel had replaced it. Even though Fish could see them, there was something more. He could feel them. He could sense their presence.

Everywhere Fish looked, death and destruction had taken its toll. He grit his teeth. None of this was right. He felt like there was a fire inside the back of his head, burning his skull. He clenched his fists. One of the spiders scuttled up to him, then hesitated. It bent down to examine him more closely.

Fish looked at his clenched fists. They glowed with a wispy green energy. He looked at the beast that, as if recognising him, tilted his head to one side.

"You seem... familiar... to me..." it said in a raspy, mechanical voice. A mock expression of surprise crossed its face. Angel paused. He balled his fist tighter as a tear rolled down his cheek. It seemed to almost burn his flesh.

"... My name..." he said through his teeth, "... is Fish." To anyone who could have heard him, he sounded very sure of his words, even with such a simple statement. To anyone who knew him well, they would say it was the first time he had ever been.

He wound his left arm back, and thrust it forward, through the stomach of the creature in front of him. Its eyes went wide in disbelief, then in pain. It looked down as Fish pulled his arm loose from the hole he had just made. As it cautiously touched its gut, a black fluid started to trickle down the side of his mouth. it looked back up at Fish and was suddenly stricken with a panicked realization that it was dying. Just before it collapsed into a lifeless heap, Fish thought he caught a glimpse of life enter into the spider's otherwise dead black eyes, and a slight smile cross its face.

Fish looked at his hand again as he spread his fingers. It was still glowing, but all the gore that should have stained his arm was melting away. He quickly put his arm down to his side and scanned the plain once more. There were groups of soldiers trying to bring down shambling black behemoths. Other soldiers were being crushed underfoot. To his right, a soldier was being chased by one of the four legged beasts. He yelled to it, and it spun around immediately. Stopping, confused, for a moment, it then ran full tilt towards him, its head low to the ground. It pounced on him, snarling, jaws wide.

Fish stuck his palm forward. He caught the beast by its skull, his hand still glowing. It convulsed under his grasp. Its flesh seemed to melt under his touch. After a moment, it stopped moving and Fish let go, letting the lifeless husk slump to the ground. There was a glowing green handprint across its face that started flowing into the dirt.

Fish glanced out on the battlefield one last time. After a brief pause, he muttered to himself "I have a lot of work to do...", and then ran into the midst of the chaos.


BOO yah, bitches! im on fuckin fire!

mother fucker fuckin fuck fuck fuck, such a good song...

anywho, heres some back info on the whole "fish thing" to put it more into context. somehow i have to incorporate this into what i wrote, and change around some of the narrative... but at least with this info, itll make more sense. and then, i can put that into the story. itd be nice... some of this might be seen as "spoilers", so effing deal with it

--------------------
-at this point, "fish"'s back story is nonexistant. he is a newly born character. he is basically an experiment gone awry, the only surviving member of a project designed to create a nearly godlike force of elite warriors. he shows no signs of change or anything else that is special (besides surviving the process), and so his captors believe him to be simply failed. they keep him alive as a reminder to themselves of the time and energy put into the project, and they keep him prisoner so that, on the off chance he DOES show some signs of ability, it is not unleashed on THEM.
-it is never stated what the results are HOPED to be, fish is shown later to have extraordinary abilities, all of which are accompanied by green energy and/or smoke. for example, i have one part written (where it is, i dont know) where a jackal-like beast jumps at him, and he just catches it by the thing's skull, like a huge basketball player holding a basketball out. he then proceeds to melt the thing's skull into glowing green mush.
-the experiment itself that fish is under involves direct chemical injection into the blood and body tissue, sensory control (exposure to nothing but life in a tube) and complete erasure of past life and experience. i havent decided yet whether fish gets his memories back, or if he remains in his new personality.
-fish's personality, after he escapes (yes, he escapse :P) is kindof a mix. he is childlike and naive, yet also very much a watcher, not wanting to get involved, or just watching to put everything in order before putting himself into everything. that, of course DOES change at some point, but hey. you can only be pushed so much before you snap.


i think thats enough backstory shit, possibly tomorrow i will start in on a basic synopsis of what ive got so far in the story, basic plot details, possibly some more characters. ive also got the next piece of story in mind involving (for those of you paying attention) the person in the battle armor who checked up on fish. i believe by continueing in THAT fashion, i can start into this the way i want, and get the story in order.

woot.

i just hope that some parts of this don't come off as pretentious and silly...

methinks this will be about our good friend "fish"

~~~~~~squiggle~~squiggle~~~~~~~squiggle~~

On a lack of proper sleep, life seems to run together. You forget which parts of conversations happen with friends and lovers, and which parts happen in your head. The same can be said when making distinctions between memories and experiences. They all seem to run together.

For example, he seems to remember screaming while laid out, strapped to a white metallic slab of a table, while shimmering, black, vaguely human shaped beings rushed around with various sharp, painful looking implements, which they may or may not have used on him. The blackouts make it hard to distinguish between nightmares and reality.

Some memories are now lost, such as his name, or what he might have looked like. He can see a slightly distorted reflection of himself in the side of his glass, cylindrical home, with his glowing green eyes, and pure white hair. He seems to recall that they might have been another color at one point, but now, for the life of him, he can't remember what they were.

What also doesn't help piece things together is spending nearly every hour of every day in a glass tube, filled with a opaque, slightly-green substance, tubes clasped into various major arteries, feeding nutrients and other unknown chemicals directly into his bloodstream.

Some things, though, he has no problem piecing together. He remembers the guards, when no one in authority was around, and the jokes they would make. He remembers them calling him "fish boy", and threatening to fry him up. He remembers this, because it's the only semblance of a name that he can come up with. Fish. It seemed appropriate.

Other memories, he doesn't know why they are important, but they stick out just the same. It was as though some unknown force in his head was linking his thoughts together. He can remember visits from what must be high ranking members of his captor's society, even though all of the creatures looked almost completely similar, the visitor's stance and the unmarred battle armour wrapped around their black spiny body gave them away. Certain statements made by one in particular have burned themselves into the back of his mind. He can almost picture the anger rising off them like steam.

With a voice that was assuredly female, yet with all the grace of a tank, "What do you mean all the tests were negative? Didn't you go through with everything according to specification?!"

A lithe, yet hunched figure, draped in long brown rags that were once a robe, traced his fingers over a tablet about the length of his forearm. Small symbols lighted up and danced.

"Everything was prepared just as we were instructed. There were no signs of any increased mental activity, no increased muscle mass, no energy spikes of any sort."

"Impossible..." she spouted off some medical, chemical verbiage that might as well have been another language. it very well could have been.

When she was finished, the slim figure that must have been some sort of technician calmly responded "It's impossible that he even survived the process. Out of 350 subjects, he is the only one left."

At this, fish looked around the room, and he was right. There were about 20 other cylinders, Just like his, except they were all empty and lifeless. As he looked back towards the technician and the officer, the slight confusion of the sitation caused him to choke on the air intake. Bubbles escaped from his mouth.

"Shut him down. I can't stand to have him looking at me right now."

He blacked out.

Obviously, he thought, one important bit of information from that scene was that they made him pass out at will, which would explain the blackouts. But he knew there was something else there.

If he was a failure in this "experiment", why were they keeping him alive? What purpose was he supposed to have anyways?

Fish didn't know it, but that memory had happened only a few minutes previous. that was the point where the dreams began. this is where the trail of questions started to dissolve.

the first.

i spent all my anger and energy making this stupid livejournal. and it looks all emo. i hate it. someone with time, energy, and basic html skills, come help me... anyways...

my writing journal. tadaah! it probably wont ever make any sense, nor will it follow a specific pattern, or will it follow ONE story for any given time. but im gonna try to write here as much as possible.

wish me luck.

and praise odin, bitches